Overwhelmed

Today we went to the market. It was INSANE! We went to get Chatenge and ended spending the whole day there. There were young children carrying things that were twice their size and I’m sure just as heavy. Lisa asked our driver if they’re backs hurt. Jeffery told us that it didn’t matter if their backs hurt, that at the end of the day they still had to eat. It made me think of home, when we complain about being hungry. The thing is, we know nothing about being hungry! We sit on out rumps day in and day out and do nothing, then have the balls to complain about cooking something for dinner, or walking to the refrigerator that just happens to be packed full. Makes me think twice about how much food I put on my plate. It makes me think about all the babies that have nothing to eat, and will go to sleep tonight hungry.
All the woman had babies tied on their backs ,working so hard. Some of them were so young!! I was thinking that these young girls were either caring for siblings because they don’t have parents. OR they were mothers. I got so angry several times at the thought of the men walking through the streets. I couldn’t help but ask myself how many of them had raped young girls. How many of them had HIV/AIDS and had infected others. I got to hear a story of one girl from the House of Martha, Annie. She lived with her parents but would spend the night with her cousins. They lived just across the street. One night her cousin came into her room and raped her. When Annie told the wife, she simply told her to stop bringing trouble into the home. Annie’s parents took the matter to court and the man one the case! Her cousin who had defiled her was released. After that her parents disappeared and she was sent to the House of Martha. Sometimes it is really hard to understand and follow the stories, but in any case it broke my. So as she was telling her story and there was a beep at the gate. When she saw that she didn’t recognize the person she just kept talking. Then after a moment she realized that it was her father! She whispered as she ran to greet him, “My father, my Father!”They embraced and then made their way hand-in-hand back to the office. She was so happy to be back with her family!
We came back to the House of Moses and every time we pull in the driveway my stomach turns. All I can focus on is the satellite dish mounted on the wall of the house. I don’t understand why that is necessary and it makes me sick! Especially when there are needs in the house that could be met with the money spent to have a television. It makes me want to go home and sell the TV I have in my room. And everything that I don’t need to survive. It just goes to show, yet again, how selfish I am.
I feel so helpless here. I want so badly to make a difference and at the end of the day feel satisfied with what I have done. There is so much to be done around this world and I feel so guilty for not doing something about it. I pray that God uses my heart to help fill His broken and hurting land with Joy and Love! I won’t get all A’s…or B’s probably. I can’t usually help 5th graders with their math. All I know is that if I let my talents go to waste, and not use God has graced me with then I am nothing. If we stop dwelling on what we don’t have and start focusing on what we do, God will reward us with the most amazing gift! I challenge you all to read Matthew Ch 25 the parable of the talents…and please try not to be lazy and think you know it. Just read it!!
I miss home, but I feel like I am at better use here. To hold these babies when they are crying, or when they scrap their knee is the most rewarding feeling I have ever felt! And to think that it’s all part of God’s good and perfect plan. It’s overwhelming!